It has been 30 days since I reach Nottingham, UK. Time do flies don't they? At times, it seems like there are so long until the day I can fly back to Malaysia. On the other hand, without me realising, I had already been on my own for 30days. I pass each day by itself. Spending the morning mostly browsing Facebook to check on my friends, play so games, eat some breakfast and then prepare to go for class. If I have an evening class, I will then skype with my family before going for class. During night time, I would feel the emptiness in my room when all my friends had already sleep. I will then watch drama until I'm sleepy.
This had been a routine for the pass 30days. I started to feel that I did not come here to study. I come here to experience life alone. I spent the days sleeping, eating and watching pps. That's all I do.
Without realising, I had been living like this for 30days. How can I continue to live like this? I have to make up my mind to be more responsible. Not just eat and sleep.
However, I really do not know what can I do besides all that. Right now, my assignment aren't really tight yet. And I've been slacking a little. I start to wonder what will happen when deadline approach.
After 30days, I start to think of the times when I could just wear a short pants or skirt with a t-shirt and go out..whether shopping or studying. However, for the 30days here, I have been putting on heavy coat and scarf before walking out of my room. In the beginning, it seems fun. Now, it is a drag. I feel really frustrated with the weather. Walking in the cold wind is bad.. but reaching the Uni building which is warm is more bad. Cause it make me colder after 2 hours inside and I need to walk home again.
I miss the time when I can just go anywhere I like anytime. I wanted to go shopping and eat anything I desire and spent the time laughing with my friends.
Shopping here just isn't that fun. All because I need to watch my purse, or rather, my card and all things seem to be heavy and bulky. I couldn't buy any ornaments I found cute cause I couldn't possibly bring them back to Malaysia. Some coats I found and I really like but it just doesn't make sense to buy so many coats as I only need them for 10 months. Back in Malaysia, I wouldn't even thought of wearing them. Besides, the coats are really heavy and it would be problems when I'm packing that time.
With all this worries, how can I shop with enjoyment? Not to mention I walk inside this shopping centre everyday. This building serve as a 'tunnel' between my home and Uni. What fun it is to go during the weekend? I walk in it everyday which in another words means, I shop everyday. There's nothing special about weekend now beside it means housework, grocery shopping and watching drama whole day. Sunday doesn't seem special now since it is the same as any other day.
This doesn't sound good right?
I hope this depress mood is just passing by. I wouldn't want to spent the next 10 months depressing. In actual fact, I feel much happier when I am outside either walking all around without motive or in Uni. At least, I'm with people and there's things happening. Inside my room, I would just facebook, blog, drama, eat and sleep. This beside making me depress, it make me fat and lazy.