Tuesday, September 27, 2011

A Day At The Airport

"A Day at the Airport

I am at the Heathrow Terminal 4 waiting for departure tonight at 10pm. It is currently 2o’clock in the afternoon. I had already been sitting here for the past 2 hours. Being alone in the airport waiting for departure is the first time experience for me. Never before had I take a flight on my own before. Not even when I’m leaving home for my studies last year, this time. I am both excited and worry as there is no one to talk to if I need some advice or help. Now, I feel so bored. I do not dare to use my ipod much since I still need that when I get into the plane. Just in case I couldn’t fall asleep. 12 hours of flight without anyone to talk to. Well, everything has the first time anyway.

Being here alone, forces me to be so independent. I had to decide for myself where to go and what to do. It make me feel so proud of myself that I am able to do that. Though, now I am quite worry what will happened when I’m going into the check-in counter with my overweight luggage. I had been estimating that it will cost me about £500 for the extra 10kg+ weight. Oh dear me, that’s really a lot. I don’t know where all the weight goes to. It is about 30kg.

Oh dear dear dear me. I had been digressing had I?
This article was supposed to be about what I had observed during my hours at the airport. Not about my luggage. Okay, crap aside.
First of all, I noticed many people seem to be with a  friend, or better, a group of friends or family. That makes me jealous. I want my family and friends. Okay, I will be meeting them in about..20 hours’ time. So, just be patient. Everyone looks like they are going home after a holiday since most of them here doesn’t seem to be local. I might be wrong, but well, that’s what I’d noticed.

On fairer note, there’s quite a lot of solo traveler as well. And most of them, very smartly, have either a newspaper, a book, a laptop or an iphone with them. Stupid me, do not have a newspaper, neither do I have a book due to the excess luggage I have, and since I had lost my iphone at Barcelona, I’m only left with this laptop I’m writing this article, without any wifi, and therefore I couldn’t connect with the outer world.  Hmm.. Sounds like, I’m not doing too bad as well yea?

Then, I also noted quite a lot of Asian. I’m quite bad at recognizing Chinese, Vietnamise, Thai, Malaysian or whatever it is, unless they speak. However, upon looking at them, I feel that the world had really advanced. Everyone now can be anywhere they want to be. What else can be hidden by anyone? No one can hide anything from anyone anymore. Crapping again am I?

Crap crap and crap, there goes 500words. By repeating the crap word, I have added another three to the amount. Who say it is so hard to write? Writing is the most easier thing to do, provided no one need to grade you for what you have written. Which is why, I suppose, blogging had been such a good fad nowadays. With blogging being so simple and fun, everyone, even people who don’t like to write, will write. Everyone shares and shares about their thoughts, their daily activities and experiences, their jobs, their skills and etc etc.

I think I really can continue to write and write and write. While the initial idea of writing this is to write about my observation of the surrounding, it lead me to crap about other stuff. I can never stick to something. See? I’m digressing again.

Talking about digressing, it is one of the word that I’ve learnt at NTU few months ago and I had keep using it for absolutely everything. This shows that I am a person who really love to digress. But, don’t you think digressing is a pretty nice way to generate ideas? Of course, after you digress, you will have to organize them. I tend to think digressing is something like mind-mapping. Well, you are talking about a certain topic, and then that topic you are talking about makes you think of some other thing. And one thing leads to another. Isn’t that how it should work in mind-mapping? You write the big topic at the middle, and write all kind of words that topic makes you think of. Whether it is good or not, it is what mind-mapping should be. Generating ideas. So, isn’t digressing a kind of ‘idea-generator-method’ as well?

I seem to be finding excuses for my own fault. But, I love to digress. It make me feel like I have been through a walk inside my mind and look at things that I have not yet found that I have inside. It’s really cool actually. Not if this article was to be seen by my teachers. They will be horrified at what I’ve written. Nothing is consistent and grammar errors are here and there. Horrible.  That is why blogging is such a fun for me. I get to write what I want and will not get graded for it. My blog is not that famous and therefore it doesn’t really matter what the content is about. Even if there’s a stranger reading this, I suppose he or she will have to bear with me. Cause I’ve decided that this will be the style of my blog.

Anyway, at the top of my blog, I’ve already stated, ‘Nothing is consistent and so if life’. Well, it is true isn’t it? Nothing is consistent. You can be running at this moment, aimed to run for 5 miles. Suddenly just 10minutes through your run, you met a friend. He began to greet and talk to you. You stop and chat a while. A short chat might lead to you following your friend to a coffee shop where he is heading towards. After another hearty chat and aromatic cappuccino and delicious croissant, you say goodbye to each other and head home. On the way home, you just realized, you have just run for 10minutes. Told ya, nothing is consistent. Never be so sure.


I digress again. Well, I’m loving it.

I guess I have to stop writing as the battery is running low. I can’t have it drained out since I might need it later. So, I will stop now and the next article might hopefully be at KL with me well refreshed without any jet lag.

26th September 2011 @ 2.48pm @ Heathrow Terminal 4" 

Sunday, September 11, 2011

What do I want?

It had been almost a week since I'm back from my Europe trip. And I've just noticed I had neglected this blog for a long time..nearly 2 months. Time really does flies. While writing the previous post, I'm still saying goodbyes to my lecturers and classmates. I'm still with Fiola and Xian. Still there's a few classmates left around to have dinner together. There's still SC to look forward to. Still the Europe trip to enjoy.


I am all alone already.

Said bye to Fiola the day I met SC.
Said bye to Xian the day we left for Europe.
Said bye to SC just few days ago.

Time really does flies.

Now, I'm counting the days left for me to fly back Malaysia. I started to miss everyone so much. By everyone, I means friends and family, both UK and Malaysia. After SC left, I am so free and bored. Nothing to do. Nothing to explore. Only left packing which can't be done until almost the last few days.

Today, I walked around the city center just to past time. Walk and walk, with my headphone on. Since I'm alone, I doesn't want to feel the loneliness, I need some music. (I never needed those weeks ago.) Past by random shops, and memories floods into my mind. How we use to shop like crazy in H&M, how we use to mused over the silly designs of novelty products, how to use to have some cheap lunch at the bar, how we use to just walk around, just to spend the Saturday afternoon together, and then back home for steamboat. I really miss those time now. Never realised, I was so lucky. To have them around me, to talk to, to laugh together, to discuss problems. Now that everyone is back home, I wonder, why am I still here?

Mom and Dad ask me whether I want to just change the ticket to an earlier date since I've nothing to do here. But, I'm quite reluctant to leave as well. I'm not sure what I wanted to do here anymore, since, there's really nothing to do. I can't shop because it will be impossible to bring back more stuff (as my luggage is already overweight), I do not have any assignment, I don't have anyone to ask for lunch. What else left to do here? I really don't know.

To settle the bank account, to pack stuff?

I'm not sure.

I'm just.. not ready to leave this place yet. This place which have given me so much experience and memories. This place which I never thought I would love and be comfortable living in.

Don't get me wrong though. I miss my home. I wanted to be home. I miss my family and my dear friends back home. I wanted to eat so many type of foods, and to enjoy the comfort of my messy room. It's just that, I know I will not be back here to live like I do now, that make me reluctant to just pack and go.

Back home, there's many realities waiting for me to face. Am I ready for them yet? I've been avoiding them for a year now. Do I still want to avoid them? Can I avoid them forever? Or, will the reality actually doesn't hurt if I face them bravely? Should I?

I really don't know.

Suddenly, I feel, I'm at the crossroad again.

The same poem applies to me again.

The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair, 
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that had made all the difference.

If I'm going to take the one less traveled by, will that changed everything? Will I think to myself; ages and ages hence, I took the one less traveled by and it had caused everything today.