I just realised.
Of all the time in my 24 hours life per day, the time I enjoy most and the happiest and most relax is........
When I am eating.
Yes yes, I know it is not good for my diet. But today, after class and I walked home, I feel greatly depressed. I'm not sure what caused my mood swing but I just doesn't want to do anything. I don't feel like talking to anyone nor reading nor shopping. And when a girl doesn't want to shop, you know something is wrong.
I reach my room and throw my bag on the bed and slump myself on the chair right infront of the laptop. Surf some Facebook as usual, check mails and try to catch up on some dramas.
However, I still feel.. very very very very bad mood. I feel like crying all of a sudden without any valid reason. But too bad, those stupid tears doesn't want to come out.
I can't seem to settle down. I don't want to go out but I don't want to stay inside as well. I know I ought to work at my dissertation or even some sketches, but I don't want to think about them at all at that moment. I am not very sure what I want to do actually.
Finally, I decided it is time to get some food since I haven't had lunch. Dump some nuggets and fries into the oven and back to my drama until they are ready.
When I bring back my food into my room and settle down to eat, I finally feel relax and I cheer up a little. It was then I realised that by eating, I will be happy. I can forget anything while eating. I can drown my sorrows while eating. That's why I don't success in all my slimming plan.
That is why I always said, even if I am dead tired or very busy or in rush, I will still stop to eat. Because I love eating. And now I realised, I will be happy if I eat.
I know that it is bad to drown myself by eating. But I can't help it. While I am here without anyone to talk deep talk, without anyone to listen to me, without anyone to cheer me up, all I can do is cheer up myself. And I only can do that by eating.
So dear fellow friends, if the next time you see me and I've gained twice my size, don't shout it at my face ok?