What is your philosophy of life? What do you expect out of life? I guess everyone wants a normal, happy, stress-free life. Who doesn't? You?!
But in reality, can everyone have it?
Can we really choose what we want? Can we really decide what we want for our future? Can we really plan our future?
I guess not.
Things are always changing. I am only a small dot in the BIG universe. I can't control what other dots do. Maybe some dots decide that they want to grow bigger? Or maybe some decide that they want to be smaller? Or some want to stick to another dot? Or some might not want to be a dot, but a square? Who knows? I can't control them and I can't understand what they might want..
There's too many things to consider. But can we really consider? I might consider that I want to buy that dress. But when I reach that decision and want to stretch out my hand to take that dress, another hand might have already reach that dress. What can I do? Snatch it back?
Therefore, even if I have already make a decision, I still need co-operation from everyone besides me. Me alone can't do anything. No one can.
Take for example, I'm playing a duet for the HK competition. DUET.
It's impossible that I can play that song all by myself. I couldn't rely on my own instinct and ignore my partner. This is wrong. I know. And I'm avoiding it.
But, they still says that I'm just playing on my own. Did not bother about what she's playing. Am I really that selfish? I did try. I did my best. But I did not achieve what I aim for. Sometime, it makes me think, what's the purpose of trying.
So, what else is new?
Someone tell me that she doesn't want to let the world to know what she's thinking. She feels her thoughts need not share with others. Sad thoughts are personal and why make others sad? Special occasion or happy thoughts, she wouldn't even want to let the world know as she feel that it is weird. She ask, Why do I need to let everyone know what am I thinking?
It makes me feel so stupid. Why am I writing all these inside my blog? Why am I letting everyone knows what am I thinking? Why do I share my thoughts with the world? Why does I let my personal moods/experience be expose to the world? WHY????????????!!!!!!!!!!!
It makes me looks like a fool?
At this moment, I'm even telling to the world about it. It makes me wonder whether am I wrong?
Maybe I am really wrong.
Maybe I should stop?