just so...

my last piano lesson is about more than half a year ago... when i finish my grade 8. then, i had plan to continue to the diploma.. but then.. it is the financial problem.. so, since i finish grade 8, i finally can stop a class, which means, less burden for my parents. so, i did not push on the matter...

i did not stop thinking a moment about this diploma lesson though.. i'm not really skilled or great.. it's just a pass on my result, but if i stop right here, i will not get anywhere.. not even able to teach.. so, what's the use of studying right up to grade 8? only for the cert? if it's only for the cert, and i won't be able to do anything, what's the use?

now, i'm thinking of bringing the subject up again but i feel reluctant.. i do not know what to tell my parents, if only i can pay for the fees.. but the diploma lessong will be extremely costly.. and i can't just bring myself to disscuss about it..

further more, where do i get the time..? everyday, i reach home, i feel tired.. extremely tired.. on wed, i hav my violin class, and sometimes i just feel so tired to go.. so, will i feel the same if i hav my diploma lesson? now, when i imagine it, i feel okay, as i really enjoy the piano, but will i regret? i'm really unsure..

i just feel like trying.. if it's really too much, i can just quit.. but if i am to quit before i try, i am not going to be satisfied.

so there...

a day worth to remember.........................

cried today...

yup... tat's it... the day that will be remembered... 8th of June, 2007.

mei theng's most memorable day... or we might also call it, most disgusting day...

why did I cry?

ok, here goes...

cry because of a project which I had spent 2 WHOLE days UNSLEEP to complete the model and the presentation, which although I was not quite satisfied, was quite happy with it.. imagine spending 2 whole days sleepless only to finish it...

only to find the lecturerS.. 'what happened to you?'
'how come you did last minute work?'
'that's why la.. you did last minute work..'
'do you have anything (excuses) for this POOR work?'
'u need to work harder'
'put more effort into your work'

imagine...





last minute.. does 3 days b4 last minutes? ok, consider yes... but choices.. do we have it? don't we have others things to do? for example, critical studies... so we should abandone the critical studies and do the projet and get a FAIL for critical studies... is that what we should do?


last thurs tutorial.. and then i work overnite for a small model to show HER on last fri.. and she approved... so, sat and sun dedicated to essay and power point... mon.. start to do the sketch up to show her on tues.. tues start model until thursday morning... then do presentation board... and printing problem.. went back and work on it until 2am.. fri.. (today) get bomb for not working hard enough and last minute work..

oh well.. i should be happy izzit?
working non stop only to find that it is a failed work.. having to redo... it's the 1st time ever i work like that...

haha.. well.. see?
i am laughing..
i am happy...

can u imagine anything tat is happier than this?
ANYTHING????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i can't control myself.. i really cried.. it's silly.. i know... and i hate myself for it...

it will be the 1st and LAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i will not be seen crying again because of a project which those so call FAIR lecturer bombed!

typical malaysia

Do you think that most people take for granted that they are able to throw rubbish everywhere but the dustbin as there is a job call 'sweeper'?

- of coz..! what else do you think the reason is? - not true.. we are morale educated! - er.. i'm absolutely blur at the moment...

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just pass by a pasar malam which were clearing adi.. it is a very small night market located near my house... you know, (i guess someone may guess it... not many small night market on friday isn't it?) doesn't want to say the place...

anyway, back to the topic, as i passed by, i saw that the floor of the night market is full and i mean it... FULL of rubbish!! (eg. plastic bagS, tissue paperS, satay stickS, paper cupS, and otherS!)

imagine... only a small road.. with only a hand full of stores... such small night market can produce such a large amount of rubbish... i wouldn't like to imagine those big big night market which goes on in a few big main roads.. (urgh!)

we are educated, we are civilize..

so why do we still throw our waste onto the innocent floor? isn't that something that we should feel ashamed of? we teach the young ones not to throw rubbish on the floor but never set a good example for them, so how do we expect the future earth to be rubbish free?

it's not that there isn't any rubbish bin.. even if you could not find one, why don't you keep your waste and dispose it when you found one? instead of pretending that you drop something and just leave it... do you really feel good? it's our responsibilities to dispose of something which we have use/eat/drink... this IS common sense! everyone have it! naturally...

it maybe because of sweeper... as the job of the road sweeper is to clear up all these rubbish and they will be payed for it therefore people no longer worry.

if there wasn't any sweeper.. imagine all those rubbish we throw and no one to clean it.. what will happen?

or will there be no rubbish because we know that there will not be anyone to clean it for us and therefore dispose of it nicely without feeling trouble?

THINK...

this is serious... one day, our mother earth will get fed up with us as we never appreciate her and take everything for granted..

i think it is time for us to do something... and really DO.. not just say...