New Page in Life

I am now heading towards the third month of my new job.

I had avoided blogging about it since the first day as I really do not know what I actually feel or think about it. I had avoided even thinking deeper about it.

Now, it had already been nearly 3 months. Time do flies. I think I had better record down some of my thoughts as I am pretty sure I will forgot all about it in.. few months time.

My new working environment isn't really new. It is quite familiar but at the same time, new. I know I'm not making any sense but it is true. I'm really familiar with some of the staff as well as the building but I'm currently on the other side of the .. 'scene'. So..

Coming back from the UK, I've decided not to go back into the industry. Or rather, I decided to try another type of job. I have to admit that I'm still not very sure I'm going to do this for the rest of my life. I still wonder if I should get back into the industry. Is that for me? I really don't know.

One think I'm very sure is, I'm pretty happy to go to work these days, which doesn't apply when I worked previously before I went to UK. It definitely is a change of environment, job scope, people I'm dealing with and the experience I'm gaining.

There's still so much to learn. I'm really trying hard to not make a fool of myself infront of people. It's hard as I'm actually doing something I did not ever imagine myself doing at all. Until I was offer for it. I tried hard to make myself presentable and also pretend to look confident over matters. I tried to learn more and be more bold at handling different situation. I'm really trying. It's been a few months. I really do hope I did not make a fool of myself.

Oops.

I seem to have avoided mentioning what I'm actually doing now. To speak write the truth, I actually do not really want to let people know of my job. It's not that I'm ashamed of it. I am proud of my work. Don't get me wrong. It's only that people seems to look at me in a weird way when I tell them. It's like:

 you work as a L*******???!! But you are so young? Are you serious?

or

Really? But you are so quiet. The quiet type. Can't really imagine it..

or

L******* ar? Are you sure? You doesn't look like it wor....


That's why.


On the other hand, I'm actually quite enjoying what I'm currently doing now. I may not be doing it very well but at least I'm actually doing something that I have interest on, something I will really put effort in. That's a good start isn't it?

Sometime, I did think about the future. (If the world did not end) What will I be doing in the future? I did have a vague idea of what I want to do but as experience tells me, what I will be doing will not be what I imagined I will be doing. So..

Anyway, I had started again my piano classes. I really do hope to get my ATCL soon. I had put it off for too long. I'm afraid if I put it off again, I will never reach it. The next one is my violin. I still had my Gr8 to go for. Which I thoroughly do not have any confidence. I always wanted to play in ensembles but sadly, most of my friend aren't into them. It is either they are not playing music or they do not want or cannot play together. I just hate it. Why learn if you don't want to play?! In a way, I'm scolding myself as well! >_<"

So, that's so far my progress since I'm home.

On another note, I really do miss my UK student life. It had been tough at times, but most of the time, I do enjoy what I'm experiencing there. I'm thinking whether I will get another chance to go back or not. Maybe another place? Another subject to study? Music this time? France?